Raw Results
08-09-99

RAW is WAR starts off, and the Countdown to the Millennium is shown again, and it's got just and hour and a half left until it ends! What could this be for the World Wrestling Federation? We will find out tonight! The Rock is on his way to the ring, and he obviously has something on his mind! The Undertaker and The Big Show are seen backstage watching, and The Big Show tried to go to the ring, but the Undertaker held him back, to try to see what The Rock has to say. The Rock gets on the mic, and he is going against Mr. Ass at Summer Slam, which is just 13 days away! The Rock does his, "Finally, The Rock has come back to Chicago." bit as he usually does. The Rock says that on Heat, The Big Show did something that he should have never done, and that's put his sweaty palms on the People's Champion! The Rock says that The Big Show doesn't impress him, one bit. The Rock mocks The Big Show, and then the Undertaker and The Big Show's music comes on, and The Big Show and the Undertaker come to the ring together, and The Rock is standing his ground, in the ring! The Rock says that the Undertaker and The Big Show should know that The Rock isn't going to run from anybody! The Rock goes after The Big Show in the ring, and the Undertaker and The Big Show double team The Rock. The Rock is nuts to be in there alone against those two! X-Pac storms to the ring, and he went right after the Undertaker! The Big Show and the Undertaker get the better of X-Pac, and not too long after that, The Road Dog makes his way to the ring to try to save his buddy, X-Pac. Kane also storms to the ring after The Road Dog was beaten. The Road Dog, X-Pac and Kane were left in the ring as if they defeated The Big Show and the Undertaker, because the two big men walked away from the ring after a big battle!

Michael Cole is with the Acolytes, and Michael asks them if they are going to put the belts on the line tonight. The Acolytes say that they are going to put the belts on the line, and they talk trash about how they are the best team in wrestling, today! Jesse "The Body" Ventura is seen arriving to the arena, and the King is going to talk to the Body! Jerry "The King" Lawler is in the ring, and he says it's his pleasure to introduce the man that is going to be the referee at Summer Slam! Jesse Ventura is the Gov. of Minnesota, and he is legendary in the World Wrestling Federation! Jesse Ventura says that he's been out of wrestling for a while, and most people know that he's been doing a lot of other stuff. Jesse says it's time to review who Jesse is. Jesse says he's a former wrestling champion, so he knows his way in and out of the ring. Second, he was the first referee at Summer Slam, because it was a special deal. Third, Jesse is the only pro wrestler who can say he is a legit Navy Seal! Jesse says that people will see a lot of frauds out there, a lot of Navy Seal wannabes. Jesse talks more about his life history. Jesse mentions that Summer Slam is going to be in Minnesota, and he says that everyone knows who the power is in Minnesota. Jesse says that the reason the WWF came to him to be a referee, is because he is the only man who will be able to be a good referee, and the best wrestler will be the WWF Champion. Jesse says he knows who the two men are, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Triple H! Jesse says that if you don't believe the power that he has, notice that you don't see that scum bag, Vince McMahon anywhere around. Triple H's music comes on, and Triple H and Chyna are on their way to the ring. Jesse continues to talk, and he says that we are going to find out who the best wrestler is, and by looking at the screen, apparently, someone is coming out! Triple H has a mic in his hand, and Jesse says that he's got a simple message for Triple H and Chyna, and that's at Summer Slam, Triple H will get his shot at the title, but he better work on his wrestling moves, because the best wrestler is going to win that night between he and Stone Cold Steve Austin, because it's Jesse's way, or the highway. Triple H says that Jesse is stuck in the 70s or something, because he sits out here and talks about former this, and former that. The fans start chanting "Asshole, asshole.", and Jesse tells Triple H that the fans are talking to him! Triple H says that this isn't Minnesota, this is his world! Jesse Ventura is standing in Triple H's world, and in his ring! Jesse tells the King, that he better explain to Triple H that this is Jesse's country, which is bigger than Triple H's ring. Jesse brags about standing with the President of the United States. Triple H says that he is standing eye to eye with him right now, and not the President. Triple H says that he doesn't care who is in front of him, he will kick their ass if he wanted to. Triple H and Jesse Ventura are face to face when Shawn Michaels' music comes on. Shawn Michaels is on his way to the ring, and he's obviously got something to say about Triple H's actions! Shawn Michaels says that Triple H knows as well as Shawn does, that Jesse "The Body" Ventura has standards and practices that he must abide by, but Shawn doesn't! Shawn says that come Summer Slam, Jesse "The Body" Ventura will be the most powerful referee in World Wrestling Federation history! Shawn says that everyone knows who brought Triple H into the wrestling world, and that was Shawn Michaels. Shawn says that if Triple H doesn't get that glare out of his stare, he is going to knock it off! Triple H shoved Shawn Michaels, and it looked as if Shawn Michaels and Triple H may go at it right here! Jesse "The Body" Ventura intervened himself in between the two, so they couldn't fight! Jesse whispered something into Shawn MIchaels' ear, and they were making a plan of sorts? Shawn says that normally, he'd beat Triple H's ass right here, and right now but Jesse informed him that when they have a lot of stroke and power like they do, they have no reason to get physical! Shawn says that Triple H, Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Undertaker will compete in a Triple Threat Match! Shawn says it's going to be his way tonight, even though it may be Triple H's time. Jesse leaves the ring as Shawn Michaels taunts Triple H in the middle of the ring.

The backstage area is shown, and Stone Cold Steve Austin is shown lying down, and it looks like he may have fell down some stairs, Shawn Michaels and WWF Officials are trying to find out what is wrong, and there was no motion from Stone Cold Steve Austin. We thought that he fell down the stairs, but now it appears that he is the victim of an attack. Shawn Michaels is helping Austin into an ambulance and Triple H shows up, and Triple H is playing innocent, and he acts like he doesn't know what happened. Shawn Michaels is on his way to the ring, and he is probably going to say something about what happened. Shawn Michaels says that he's sure that everyone saw what happened, and the question is, who can we hold responsible for this? Could it be the man that was supposed to face Stone Cold at Summer Slam? Could it be the man that was supposed to face Austin and the Undertaker in a Triple Threat match tonight? Shawn Michaels tells Triple H to get his ass out here! Shawn Michaels says that his guess is that Triple H thinks he is going to weasel his way out of the Triple Threat match tonight, and Shawn Michaels says that no one puts anything over the Commissioner of the WWF. Triple H comes out and asks Shawn what he is talking about, and he claims that he doesn't know what happened in the back. Shawn says that he taught Triple H everything he knows, and the only thing that Triple H doesn't understand is that Shawn Michaels is the teacher, and Triple H is the student. Shawn says that Triple H may have eliminated one of his opponents for the Triple Threat match, but Shawn says that Triple H is going to wrestle in a Triple Threat match, in a falls count anywhere rules match! And it is also going to be for the number one contender ship at Summer Slam, so if Triple H wants that match at Summer Slam, he is going to have to earn it tonight. Triple H says that Shawn can't do that to him, and he looks like he is going to cry! Shawn Michaels just smiles, and he says that he can do whatever he wants! Shawn says that just to make sure that Triple H is a good boy, Shawn is going go to special referee that match. Triple H says that Stone Cold Steve Austin isn't here, so it isn't happening. Shawn says that what we are going to do is find Triple H another opponent. Shawn says that the opponent is going to be none other than Chyna! Chyna is going to have an opportunity to earn a shot to go to Summer Slam against the WWF Champion! Triple H says that enough is enough, and with all due respect, Chyna is just a girl, and she can get hurt in a match like this. Chyna didn't like the fact that Triple H says that it's no place for a woman. Chyna gets on the mic and says that she will take that opportunity. Chyna gets in the face of Triple H and says just a woman? She then walks away!

Mr. Ass is backstage, and he asks the people that work on his ass what is making him itch. The girl says that he's got poison ivy! The Rock is on his way to the arena, and it looks like The Rock has got something else to say! Michael Cole is with Test, and Test says that all he ever asked was that he and Stephanie be alone, but Shane and his butt sniffers didn't listen. Test has taken care of all the Mean Street Posse members, and only Shane McMahon is left! Terry Taylor is with Steve Blackman, and Blackman says that he will step into Ken Shamrock's Lion's Den, if Ken will step into his, and that's a cage match with weapons all around it, and whoever gets a weapon, can use it however they want!

The Rock is in the arena, and he is on his way out to the ring! The Rock says that since the Undertaker is booked tonight for a match, that leaves The Big Show free! The Rock is challenging The Big Show to a match tonight, in front of all The Rock's fans! The Rock tells The Big Show to check himself into the Smackdown Hotel. The Millennium Countdown shows up on the Titantron, and it counts down, and the lights go out, and weird music comes on while The Rock is in the ring! Fireworks go off, and a video shows up on the Titantron, and it says Jericho! It's Chris Jericho, he has finally arrived in the World Wrestling Federation! He is standing on the RAW stage backwards, and it's very nice to see him in the WWF! Chris says welcome to RAW is Jericho! Chris says that he is the new Millennium for the World Wrestling Federation! Chris says that for those of you who don't know who he is, he is Chris Jericho, everyone's new hero, everyone's party host, and most importantly, the most charismatic showman to enter everyone's living rooms via a television screen! Chris says that when you think of the new Millennium, you think of an event so big that it changes the course of history, you think of the dawning of a new era, and this case it's the dawning of a new era in the WWF! Chris Jericho says that the WWF needs a new era, because the ratings are down, and the pay per view buy rates are down, and he says that the WWF has turned into a boring snooze fest. Chris Jericho says that he is here to save the WWF! Jericho says that the live crowds have no reaction, and that's because they are embarrassed to be here! Jericho says that he is embarrassed for everyone, and the reason is that the WWF has untalented sports entertainers who the fans are forced to cheer for and care for! Chris says that the fans don't care about the idiots in the dressing room, or The Rock who is standing in the ring. Jericho says that he is excellence, not what the WWF has to offer! Chris Jericho says that for the first time in WWF history, the WWF has a man who can entertain the fans, and is good enough for the fans! Chris Jericho says that he is the answer to the Y2J! Chris Jericho says that no one will ever be the same again! The Rock gets on the mic, and says that after three boring minutes, The Rock says know your role and shut your mouth! The Rock says that Jericho is a little jabroni, and he came on The Rock's show and didn't introduce himself, The Rock asks Jericho what his name is, and Chris starts to talk. The Rock says "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!" The Rock says that Chris talks about his Y2J plan, but The Rock has a plan of his own, and that's the KYJelly Plan. The Rock says that it means he is going to lube his size 13 real good, and turn it sideways and stick it up Jericho's candy ass! If you smell, what The Rock is cooking! The Rock and Chris Jericho look at each other, The Rock, from the ring, and Chris Jericho from the RAW stage.

Raw Results
08-02-99

RAW is WAR starts off, and as the RAW intro is going on, the Acolytes are seen standing in the pyro and fireworks for RAW is WAR, they mean business, and they want to kick someone's ass as they are the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions! Just last night on Sunday Night Heat, they got it on with the Undertaker and The Big Show, Paul Wight in a Tag Team match. The match ended when the Undertaker used a steel chair, and got himself disqualified. The belts were on the line, but the Acolytes retained the belts. Bradshaw gets on the mic and says that he is going to stand right there in the ring with his partner until The Big Show and the Undertaker bring their big 7 foot asses out to the ring. Bradshaw says that they don't know what they started last night on Heat. Faarooq says that when the Undertaker and The Big Show talk about Armageddon and the world coming to an end, Faarooq says that The Big Show and the Undertaker are coming to an end! The Big Shot, Hardcore Holly's music comes on, and he says that it's the Acolytes' unlucky night, because his boys aren't here yet! Hardcore Holly says that the leader of the super heavyweights is here, and that's Hardcore Holly. Bradshaw asks Holly which one of the Acolytes does he want to hand Holly his ass. Hardcore Holly says he is a Big Shot, and he is here to take on both of their asses! Hardcore Holly is making his way to the ring, and he is going to fight both of the Acolytes. As soon as he gets in the ring, the Acolytes beat the hell out of him. Hardcore Holly thinks that he is a super heavyweight, and he can take on anyone, yet he gets his ass kicked every time! It's hilarious! The Acolytes give Hardcore Holly their double power bomb, and Holly is just about as limp as a dish rag here, at the hands of the Acolytes!

Shane McMahon is shown in a hallway, and he is walking towards the ring possibly. Austin was shown as well, and where is he headed? Could we be looking at another Austin/McMahon showdown? Shane McMahon is on his way to the ring, and he is going to break his silence since his father has been booted from WWF television. Shane McMahon gets in the ring, and the fans give him the "Asshole, asshole!" chant that the McMahons usually get. Shane says he appreciates the comment, but he isn't deserving of it, just yet. Shane says that many were wondering where Shane was last week when his father was having his final television appearance. Shane says that he was at home, watching Vince in the ring. Shane says that Vince is a great man, and he calls him a number of great things, and he says that Vince has the balls of grape fruits! Shane says that he was watching Vince live up to his guarantee, and that was Vince walking away from his very own show. The show produced by his own company, never ever to be seen on TV again. Shane was at home sitting on his couch, praying and hoping that all of the WWF fans would give Vince the proper respect, because Vince is the father of the World Wrestling Federation. Shane says that Vince deserved a farewell party greater than Michael Jordan, but instead, what did everyone do? They all mocked him, with a little saying developed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, and delivered by Jim Ross. Shane says that there's a little payback for Jim Ross, later on. Shane says the WWF is the best built form of entertainment in the universe. Shane says the WWF is more recognize able than Disneyland, Time Warner, and many other things. Shane says that no one would be here this evening without Vince McMahon. You would never be able to buy a t-shirt, or watch pay per view. Without Vince McMahon, there would be no Stone Cold Steve Austin, no Rock, no Undertaker, no Big Show, no Triple H, no Chyna, no Kane, no X-Pac, no Mr. Ass, no Road Dog, and the list continues to go on and on. Shane says that without Vince, there wouldn't even be Ted Turner's WCW 'rasslin! Shane even says that WCW's entire roster wouldn't exist without Vince McMahon, which was created many many years ago. Shane asks what is going to happen now that the Head of the Corporation is gone? Shane says that Triple H has guaranteed him that it will be Stone Cold Steve Austin himself that will jump out of his own body and watch Triple H pin Stone Cold's shoulders to the mat, one, two, three. Stone Cold will continue the Out Of Body Experience as he watches Triple H leave the ring as the new World Wrestling Federation Champion. Shane says that the entire Corporate Ministry is allowed to do whatever they want, to whoever they want. Shane says he is focusing on one person, and one person only, and that's Test! Shane says he knows Test can hear him, and Shane says that Test may not have heard his warning, Shane says that Test will stay away from his sister. Test's music comes on, and Test comes out and says that he told Shane once to stay out of their business, but he didn't want to listen. Test says that he is going to make Shane, and the Posse, his business! Test says it started last week with Fat Ass Pete Gas, and it's going to keep going until it's just Shane and Test. Test says that after that, all the problems are going to be gone, because Stephanie is going to be an only child!

The Rock is seen backstage, and he is arriving to the arena. Someone has his bag, and he tells the guy to hurry up with his bag, and then he takes the bag from the guy, and he asks the guy if he wants a tip, and The Rock tells him to use a condom, what a tip! The Rock then throws money at the guy and pushes him down and heads backstage more. Footage of The Rock throwing out the first pitch for a baseball game is shown, and the fans are having a good time with The Rock. Footage of the Summer Slam press conference is shown, and Jim Ross said that there is a hot rumor that Jesse "The Body" Ventura will be in RAW next week! Footage of Fully Loaded was shown, and it was the match between The Rock and Triple H to determine who would go to Summer Slam to face the WWF Champion. Triple H won that match with the help of Chyna and Mr. Ass. Triple H will go to Summer Slam against Stone Cold Steve Austin for the WWF Championship belt. Mr. Ass is on his way to the ring with Chyna, and Billy gets on the mic and says that finally the 1999 King Of The Ring and the World's Greatest Athlete has come here tonight to talk about ass. Mr. Ass says that there is one ass he wants to talk about, and that's the people's ass, because at Summer Slam, he is going against The Rock. Billy says that his ass is everything The Rock wishes his was. Mr. Ass says that he caught The Rock getting out of the shower earlier and he took a picture of The Rock's ass so everyone can see his ass. A big fat ass is shown on the Titantron, and it is gross! Mr. Ass mocks The Rock, and says that the fans can cheer that, or kiss his royal ass! The Rock shows up on the Titantron, and he does his bit, and then he says that Mr. Ass doesn't impress him one bit with that stupid picture on the Titantron. The Rock says that he is going to let the cat out of the bag, and he says the video footage wasn't of The Rock, but it was of Mr. Ass' fat ass mother! The Rock says that Mr. Ass can run his mouth about Summer Slam all he wants, but The Rock says that if The Rock hits Mr. Ass, he'll kill him, but if The Rock misses, the wind that blows by him will make him really sick, and he'll die anyway, so it's Billy's choice!

Terry Taylor is with Jeff Jarrett and Debra, and he tells Jeff so much for being the Greatest Intercontinental Champion. Jeff Jarrett tells Terry to shut his mouth, and he blames Debra for him not being the Intercontinental Championship anymore. Jarrett says that D'Lo didn't beat Jarrett, but Debra did. Stone Cold Steve Austin is shown, and it looks like he is on his way out to the ring. Stone Cold gets in the ring and gets on the mic and trash talks Triple H. Austin says that all the sudden, he is sitting in the back, and all he hears is Triple H sitting in the commentary spot talking trash about Stone Cold, saying he knows everything about Austin. Austin says that Triple H can study anything he wants to, but he can show up at Summer Slam as the smartest son of a bitch in the world, but the bottom line is that Austin is going to whoop his ass and that's the bottom line! The music of The Big Show and the Undertaker comes on, and they are coming out to the ring with Paul Bearer. Business is about to pick up! The Undertaker gets on the mic and says that everyone knows that Stone Cold talks the talk, but we are going to find out if he walks the walk. The Undertaker says that if Stone Cold Steve Austin doesn't give him a title match in one minute, they are going to stomp a mud hole in Austin's ass! The Undertaker and The Big Show attack Austin, but that was no minute. The Big Show and the Undertaker take apart Stone Cold Steve Austin right in the middle of the ring!